In a world filled with obligations, months may slip away, making your time no longer your own. As a woman, by embarking on solo travel, you’re expressing disregard for all of that.
I find myself in a bar in downtown Toronto, where an acquaintance is babbling nonsense. In an endless stream of uninformed chatter, she expresses her deep concerns for me, inquires if I’ve watched Narcos, and punctuates her pointless monologue with: “I just really hope you know self-defense. ”
I maintain a fixed smile on my face in a manner that I believe is convincing (which means: it almost certainly isn’t), and I take a sip of my beer to avoid saying something rude. Unaware of my irritation, she carries on.
She says it’s fortunate that I’ve recently darkened my hair, as I’ll now blend in. I contemplate mentioning that as a pale white girl traveling in Colombia, the only thing that will blend in is my roots.
I inquire if she has ever actually visited Medellin. She hasn’t. This doesn’t surprise me.
When I consider “solo female travel,” I often recall this exchange and how incredibly misinformed it was. It occurred just a few weeks before I embarked on what I initially anticipated would be a year abroad (I have since exceeded that period), and as the days until my departure ticked away, I went through the motions in anticipation of my flight date.
Most people were thrilled for me, but I still found it hard to ignore the ones who, with wide eyes, marveled at my bravery or cautioned me to remain safe.
I reflected on how if I were a man preparing for life overseas, I wouldn’t have to contend with others’ fear-based warnings.
Now, a year and more after I packed my bags, I possess some valuable stories and insights to contribute to the discourse around women traveling alone.
Here are the very best.
My primary suggestions and recommendations for female travelers who venture solo
Whether you are exploring lesser-known locations, visiting the most secure countries for solo female travel, or heading to the finest destinations for solo female travelers. . .
1. Take the advice of others with caution
Before I even arrived at the airport, I had received a rather unpleasant mix of subjective opinions.
There was an acquaintance who appeared to think Medellin was a place filled with turmoil and significant risk. There were also others who recommended I travel differently, questioned my schedule, or suggested that I move from city to city rather than choosing one as a home base.
Given my job, personal preferences, and plans, I opted for a slow travel approach where I’d use one location as my hub and discover nearby regions at my own pace.
I did this so I wouldn’t compromise my work and so that I could genuinely savor the relaxed local lifestyle. That made sense to me.
I’m not implying that you shouldn’t take others’ advice into account; just recognize that your perspective is the most important.
2. Focus on what you enjoy and engage in those activities
I’m situated on a ridge within a pine forest, looking down at the city of Medellin.
The mountains are quiet, it smells wonderful, and the sun warms my face. I take a bite of the empanadas and fresh fruits I’ve brought along for this afternoon trek and admire the stunning landscape.
I have always found joy in the outdoors and being active, so I’m discovering this new destination through its hiking paths. I arrived two weeks ago and haven’t connected with any friends yet, so today, I’ve packed my gear, shoes, and extra water to explore a nearby trail.
Even though the skies open up and unleash a significant storm, I understand that I couldn’t have chosen a more fulfilling way to spend the day. It may seem straightforward, but when traveling alone, dedicate your time to what you are passionate about.
3. Document your memories
You’ve granted yourself the gift of solo travel, and as a woman, that especially may have required an extra nudge.
Don’t allow it to go to waste.
Create wonderful memories and record them so that on a gloomy afternoon, you can reflect on this extraordinary experience that you have given to yourself.
I say “document your memories” and keep it broad because that could signify different things to various individuals.
Since I write for a living, I seldom journal, but I enjoy capturing photos during an incredible day. Later, I choose the best one for my Instagram; it’s my personal photo album.
Recently, while in the south of Ecuador, I could showcase to a traveler everything I had done in Colombia thanks to this. However, if social media is your preferred method, there are some pitfalls to avoid. This brings me to my next point. . .
4. Don’t let Instagram dictate your travels
Are you visiting that place because you researched it and believe you’d enjoy your time there, or are you going there because Instagram travelers made it appear appealing?
Seriously, there are so many places to discover.
If you’re not interested, don’t do it. If you’re doing it solely for the photo opportunity, I personally believe that’s a waste of time, money, and emotional energy. I also dislike seeing someone complain throughout an activity only to post later about how fantastic it was. What’s the point?
5. Give yourself permission to say no
In my initial days in Ecuador, I ascended a volcano to the highest elevation I’d ever reached in the world. Afterwards, I experienced a minor case of altitude sickness. I was dizzy, slightly nauseous, and had a headache. (It was worth it, though. )
When I checked into my hostel, I was immediately invited for drinks. The group appeared really fun, but honestly, I had no interest.
It’s not a crime to decline an invitation because you’re tired.
I say embrace your introvert, ignore your #fomo, and do what’s best for you.
The next day when I was recharged and feeling great, that same group was heading to a pub next door. I joined in, had a fantastic time, and connected with several of them.
6. You don’t owe anyone information about yourself
I live in Ecuador and almost every time I get in a taxi, the driver asks me if I’m married, if I have a boyfriend, who I live with and if I have any kids.
It’s exhausting and guess what? I don’t owe anyone the truth if I’m not up for that conversation that day.
Us women get a lot of questions about our life status.
Others will make our life choices their business and judge. Often times, the curiosity comes from an innocent, well-meaning place. That doesn’t mean you owe the answer.
Sometimes, I just tell people I don’t speak Spanish. Other times I say my husband is waiting at home. Neither of these things are true and I don’t care.
7. Note if the culture goes against your values but don’t try to change it
I live in a part of the world where the machista culture is obvious to me.
I’m a feminist and I don’t agree with a lot of what I see. For me, the best thing to do is note the personal conflict and stay true to my values without trying to change it.
I can’t change the gender roles that are so prominent in this corner of Ecuador. I can’t change a part of the culture just because I don’t like it.
I’m not telling female travelers to be passive or to not support local initiatives whose causes you believe in. Be proactive and keep your values close, just don’t kill yourself doing so.
8. Keep your purse close and know what’s in it
Keep your stuff in a purse that’s zipped up and close to your body.
Even better, if you’re not totally familiar with where you are, keep your money and ID in a zipped pocket on the inside of your jacket.
Know what valuables you’re carrying at all times and keep your eyes on them. Just saying.
9. Understand that indeed, there are dangers associated with being a woman.
You are vulnerable to gender-based violence, harassment, and sexual assault merely by being a living, breathing woman existing in the world.
Gender discrimination certainly varies in severity across different regions of the world, yet it is present in every country, every city, and every town.
Precautions consistently involve: researching your destination; getting to know the area during daylight hours; dressing in culturally appropriate clothing; walking with friends at night; surrounding yourself with responsible and intelligent companions, etc.
As women, we are all too familiar with this reality.
.. . but don’t allow them to defeat you.
Shortly after leaving my city, my heart sank upon hearing about an act of gender-based violence that took place back home. It reaffirmed what I have always known: these incidents can occur anywhere.
At this moment, I would challenge anyone to argue with me when I assert that the world is designed for men.
My suggestion to other women: pursue your life regardless of the inherent dangers of being female. . . because living is preferable to retreating into a corner and remaining at home.
10. Connect with other women who comprehend your journey.
Some individuals will grasp your travel aspirations and aims. Others. . . will not.
Surrounding yourself with similar-minded women will empower you in your choices and additionally, you’re more likely to connect with and learn from these female friends.
I admire the women who are fluent in Spanish, have resided in various countries, and journey to lesser-known towns in Ecuador for weekend trips. They have motivated my new direction.
11. Stop worrying about keeping up with the Jonses.
I engaged in a foolish pursuit of keeping up with the Jonses early in my travels.
By that, I mean I overspent my budget because the friends I made were participating in activities that, to be honest, I couldn’t afford.
It can be tempting to rationalize every experience while abroad, but remember that wonderful experiences can also be enjoyed at little or no cost. Consider a picnic by the river, a day at the beach, or preparing a communal dinner.
12. If it’s at the top of your travel bucket list, pursue it.
I departed Colombia after experiencing so much.
I ascended mountains, relaxed on the beach of a Caribbean island while fishing boats arrived. I celebrated until dawn in Medellin, had my first conversation by the pool on a sunny afternoon, learned to prepare my first Latin American dish, and soaked in volcanic hot springs.
Nevertheless, there were activities that I always believed I would eventually do but didn’t.
When traveling, particularly alone, allocate time for your bucket-list dreams and activities because eventually, time runs out.
13. Be confident.
If you feel that someone is treating you differently due to being foreign and female, there’s a strong likelihood that this is the case.
Stand up for yourself and be confident (while being respectful, of course). In my locale, many locals my age reside with their parents, and more than once, a guy has displayed interest seemingly to invite himself to my home. My response to that is a definitive no.
Likewise, if someone invades my personal space, I will certainly assert through my body language that it’s unacceptable.
When traveling, don’t feel obligated to be overly polite.
14. Reflect on what you desire from these travels.
Do you want to acquire the local language? Are you seeking purpose after a challenging time? Is it time for relaxation following burnout?
Engage in an honest dialogue with yourself and determine what you wish to achieve during this time alone. Keep those intentions in mind as you plan your days.
In a world filled with time obligations, it can feel as though months slip away and your time isn’t yours. This can be especially true for women. By traveling solo, you’re rejecting all of that.
Sleep in if that’s your choice or, arise at dawn to conquer a mountain.
Savor local sweets or utilize this time to correct unhealthy eating habits.
Relax on a beach or organize multiple activities for your days.
Engage with others or spend this time in solitude, reconnecting with your creativity.
Essentially, what I’m saying is that you’re a woman navigating the world as you wish.
Do what feels right for you.
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